Dale Gribble, a character from the animated series King of the Hill, is famous for his wild and imaginative beliefs right from the start. He’s not your average guy – in fact, he’s Hank’s closest friend and the most eccentric person in all of Arlen, Texas. Dale’s mind is a whirlwind of suspicions, doubting everything from the government to everyday things. It’s quite fascinating how he can be so suspicious yet completely clueless about certain things, like his wife Nancy’s secret rendezvous with the charming John Redcorn.
Just when you thought you had heard all of Dale’s outlandish ideas, he surprises everyone with yet another bizarre and unfounded theory to add to his ever-growing collection.
1. Fidel Castro Stole Dale’s Lawnmower to Make a Submarine
In the episode “Dog Dale Afternoon,” Hank and his friends decide to play a prank on Gribbleby by stealing his prized riding lawn mower. However, things quickly spiral out of control when Dale’s already intense paranoia reaches new levels. He becomes convinced that the theft of his beloved mower is somehow connected to Cuban communists.
Dale, in his usual eccentric manner, tries to explain his outlandish theory to Hank. He sarcastically tells Hank, “I wish I could live in your fantasy world, where everything is simple and straightforward. But in reality, the Fair Play For Cuba Committee is actually modifying my mower to power Fidel Castro’s personal escape submarine.”
Despite the absurdity of Dale’s claims, his super-ultra-paranoia has convinced him that there is a sinister plot involving Cuban communists behind the theft of his mower. It’s a classic case of Dale’s imagination running wild and taking him to extreme conclusions.
2. Dale Is Not Dale, But Is Instead a Clone From the Future
In the episode called “The Incredible Hank,” Dale drops a bombshell on his buddies in his usual quirky manner:
“Guess what, guys? I’ve just discovered that I’m not the real Dale Gribble, but rather a clone of him! Can you believe it? The original Dale Gribble is an absolute badass super-warrior from the distant future, the year 2087 to be precise. And get this, the purpose of my existence is to aid the first Dale in battling the Mongol armies that have invaded!”
However, Hank, being the macho guy he is, quickly dismisses Dale’s wild revelation. With a firm punch to the arm, he adds an emphatic exclamation point to his disbelief.
3. Peanut Allergies Are the Result of Peanuts Fighting Back Against Humanity
Peanut allergies are on the rise these days, and Dale has his own interesting theory about it. He discusses this phenomenon in his book, “Naked Ambition.” According to Dale, peanuts have developed a defense mechanism to avoid being consumed safely. In his somewhat paranoid and overly complicated estimation, this has led to a war between humans and peanuts.
4. Dale’s Son Is an Extraterrestrial
In “Of Mice and Little Green Men,” we see Hank’s concern about Dale finally realizing something that has been obvious to others for a while now – that Joseph is not his biological son. Dale, however, seems to have come up with a rather unconventional theory. Instead of accepting the truth, he believes that Joseph is actually an alien’s child!
It’s quite puzzling how Dale has managed to come to this conclusion. Perhaps it’s a way for someone to divert his attention from discovering the real truth, by burdening him with the responsibilities of fatherhood. After all, what better way to distract a man than to make him focus on being a dad?
5. The Pyramids Were Originally Built Upside Down
In “Texas City Twister,” Dale suggests an interesting theory about the pyramids. He believes that they initially had flat tops and were balanced on their points.
He casually mentions, “You know how the Egyptians un-tipped the pyramids, don’t you? With a winch, a cinder block, and 50,000 Hebrew slaves.” Then he jokingly asks, “You got a cinder block?”
So, if the Egyptians were able to un-tipped the pyramids, it makes you wonder who actually placed them there in the first place, right?
6. Fire Ants Murdered L. Ron Hubbard
In “King of the Ant Hill,” Dale nonchalantly reveals his theory on the demise of the infamous author of Dianetics and the mastermind behind Scientology. According to him, fire ants are not mere pests, but rather a cunning gang of ruthless killers!
Dale explains, “Believe it or not, these fire ants are incredibly organized and possess remarkable skills. They have the ability to launch a united attack, swarming their target and delivering a barrage of stings simultaneously, catching their victims off guard. This is precisely how they managed to take down L. Ron Hubbard.”
7. The U.S. Postal Service and the Red Cross Want Citizens Fat and Docile
In “Dale to the Chief,” before Dale adopts a pro-American stance, he reveals to Hank the real reason behind his struggles with the post office and the DMV. Dale explains, “Let me shed some light on why it’s taking so long to get your license. The U.S. Postal Service is caught up in an incredibly complex psychological operations campaign. They start by bombarding us with tempting 2-for-1 pizza coupons. Once we’re too sluggish to resist, they hand us over to the Red Cross, who slyly extract our kidneys. These kidneys then find their way back onto pizzas, perpetuating the cycle all over again.”
8. The Super Bowl Is Taped Six Months in Advance
Hank finds himself in a dilemma – should he watch the Super Bowl or indulge in playing God in “Meet the Manger Babies”? Luckily, Dale steps in to provide some much-needed clarity.
According to Dale, the Super Bowl was actually pre-taped six months ago. He adds an interesting tidbit, claiming that it took place in the same Nevada hangar where the moon landing was famously staged. This revelation implies that the Super Bowl, much like professional wrestling, is not as authentic as it appears. However, Dale acknowledges that the Super Bowl boasts a superior budget and a hidden agenda that remains shrouded in secrecy.
9. There Are Alien Metals in the Soil
Dale doesn’t take metal detectors seriously. He thinks they are useless because if they actually worked, they would be going off all the time.
According to Gribble, in “Not in My Back Hoe,” metal detectors would constantly be alarming because our soil contains a significant amount of extraterrestrial alloy. This alloy supposedly acts as a signal for the Martian capital City, suggesting increasingly elaborate celestial legends.